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Creating New Rituals and Traditions
A funeral is a series of rituals and traditions that is influenced by our social, religious and cultural values and beliefs. Between the years 1946 and 1964, a population explosion produced the largest generation in the history of the world. Now in their 40's and 50's, the "baby boom" generation has had a significant impact on society's values and beliefs and as such is reshaping the death care industry.
Unlike the previous generation who accepted their religious and social traditions, the baby boomers are the instruments of change. In funeral service, because of the desire for unique and individualized ceremonies, ties to tradition are weakening.
While striving to plan a more personal and meaningful funeral, increasing numbers of families are choosing alternative funeral practices. To keep pace with change and satisfy emotional needs, churches and family members are creating new funeral rituals and traditions.
The committal service
A member of the clergy traditionally conducts the committal service, which may be either public or private, at graveside. It is where the family and friends say their final good-byes. With cremation becoming more popular, particularly direct cremation where families are choosing scattering rather than burial of the cremated remains, some churches have recognized a need for a short committal service prior to the commencement of the cremation process. Locally this new ritual was introduced by the Anglican Church in the early '90s and is now referred to by funeral directors as the "committal to flame".
Some funeral homes have an area adjacent to their crematorium where a short committal service can be held. Families are invited by the funeral director to attend the service but are not obligated to do so. The "committal to flame" is mandatory in the Newfoundland Anglican Church's Eastern Diocese, and an Anglican clergy must be called to conduct the service regardless of whether the family is in attendance. It is optional in the United Church and will be held at the request of the family. As yet, it is not offered by other Christian faiths.
Families wishing to attend may choose to have the remains in a closed casket placed in the retort out of sight or left in the committal area in full view of those in attendance. They must also be guided by the clergy's preference. When placed outside the retort, family members may choose to carry out the same traditions performed at a graveside service such as placing flowers on the casket, taking them from the floral spray or touching the casket for the final time. It also allows the funeral director to perform the ritual of sprinkling sand over the casket or container when the clergy reads the actual committal.
When the casket or container is placed in the crematorium, the door is usually closed. The family will still gather in the committal area with the clergy and funeral director for prayers and support. In either case, unless otherwise requested, the crematorium is not turned on until after the family has left the premises.
Both the Anglican and United Church have written a special liturgy for this service, which includes a reference to the committal of the body to flame rather than earth.
This new ritual brings closure for family members and gives them a place to pay their final respects and say good-bye.
Variations to an already established ritual can also be made. As referenced earlier, at a graveside committal service funeral directors will sprinkle sand over the casket or urn when the clergy says "earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust." In most cases the funeral director uses a small brass holder called a "shaker," containing silica sand. On one occasion, just before the start of a funeral service, the deceased man's son who carried a small bottle of sand approached a funeral director. The sand had come from his father's birthplace, and he asked that it be used instead of the traditional shaker. The funeral director suggested that the son perform the ritual of sprinkling the special sand over his father's casket. At the end of the service, after emptying the majority of the sand into the grave, the son kept a small portion as a symbol of the cherished memories of this father. This ritual meant a great deal to the son, but it also deeply moved those who attended the committal service. We learn rituals from others, and we share them as well.
This simple graveside ritual was seen again, on the national stage, at the tomb of the Unknown Canadian Soldier. When the casket had reached its final resting place, a representative from each province, territory and First Nation symbolically poured a small amount of soil, which came from his or her province or territory, into the open tomb.
The Chinese community also has its own ritual at graveside. Mourners pass out to all those in attendance small packages containing candy and coins. The candy represents the sweetness of life that has been lived and money symbolizes good fortune.
Chapel Services
A traditional funeral ritual, in which families are considering other opinions, is the practice of holding the funeral ceremony in a church. Many families are choosing chapels over churches whether they are located in a funeral home, resident care facility, university or some other public institution.
In 2000, of the approximately 1200 deaths that occurred in St. John's, Mount Pearl and surrounding areas, over 300 or between 25 or 30 per cent had a chapel service. Reasons for the increasing use of chapels include a migratory population who are not affiliated with a church and would prefer the neutrality of a chapel; long term residents of nursing or seniors' homes who become detached from their local congregations and would rather use the chapel at the resident care facility to accommodate their close friends residing in the home; or if the deceased was elderly and a low attendance was anticipated.
Of the three most prominent denominations in the area, the United Church is the most receptive to chapel services with over 50 per cent of their funerals conducted from a chapel. The Anglican Church follows this at almost 40% and the Roman Catholic Church about 15%. Other smaller Christian denominations and religious groups are also very comfortable with using a chapel.
It is tradition in the Roman Catholic Church to celebrate mass as part of the funeral liturgy. Although the Liturgy is permissible and can be lead by a lay representative, the Archbishop has prohibited a lay representative in a traditional mass. Although more Roman Catholics are choosing to hold funeral services at a chapel, many still prefer the traditional funeral liturgy with mass.
New Liturgies
In addition to the new liturgy created for the "committal to flame" ritual, churches are also responding to new challenges presented by grieving families. The Anglican Church has instituted new liturgies for the burial of a stillborn child or those who do not profess to be Christian. The Roman Catholic Church has recognized the growth of cremation and has revised their funeral and burial liturgies to accommodate the cremated remains in their church and cemeteries.
General
Baby boomers are reinventing the funeral to include unconventional eulogies and tributes, even showing videotapes of the deceased. Families want to take an active part in the funeral whether it is with the selection of the burial clothing, choosing pictures or personal effects for display or writing a note or poem to be placed in the casket. Gestures such as these become traditions for families, thereby assisting them in their time of grief and enhancing how they're loved one's life is remembered and celebrated.
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